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HOPE ROAD - from Addiction to Recovery

by John Dillon

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

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    John Dillon tells his story of addiction and recovery through these 12 compelling songs. An accomplished singer-songwriter, guitarist and producer, John began his journey of recovery in 1992 at an addiction treatment center in Northeastern PA. He has maintained his sobriety through gratitude and service.

    PAY WHAT YOU WISH ($1 minimum) - Whatever you chose to pay will help cover costs and get the recovery message to more people in need.

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1.
(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI) We left Sacramento on a midnight freight Dusty and dirty, too damned straight Get to Wyoming, we’ve had enough  Train slows down and we jump right off Sacramento to Cheyenne, living day to day, without a plan A hippie van full of friendly folks Come on with us and have a little toke Take us home to their humble abode We tell 'em stories of livin’ on the road Sacramento to Cheyenne, living day to day, without a plan Living the counter-culture hippie dream Thank you for providing the hospitality Songs and stories, camaraderie For a place to sleep and a meal to eat Sacramento to Cheyenne, living day to day, without a plan
 Every day an adventure, traveling free Long hair in the wind, oh so hip Love to explore psychedelic realms Far out, man… what a trip! Never overstay our welcome, always polite Time to move on, we be outta sight Packs on our backs, we stick out our thumbs A brand new adventure, here we come Sacramento to Cheyenne, living day to day, without a plan Was it coincidence for that hippie van To be right there when we got to Cheyenne? These incidents of happy chance Felt like we were part of some cosmic dance Sacramento to Cheyenne, living day to day, without a plan
2.
(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI) I’ve traveled down this two-lane road far too many miles No matter how I try, can’t seem to find a smile I wake up in the morning, pour a cup of brew       Splash some water in the face of a man I thought I knew The miles keep rolling through my mind And the years are leaving me behind I drink the wine to ease the pain, cocaine to get me by How long can I keep going on living this double life? I drive this beat-up Peterbilt two thousand miles each week The turnpikes and the torn-up roads take their toll on me One more cup of coffee, roll a cigarette Feel like I’m staring in the mirror at a man I never met The miles keep rolling through my mind And the years are leaving me behind I drink the wine to ease the pain, cocaine to get me by How long can I keep going on living this double life? When I'm home with family, you'd think my life was good Grilling with the wife and kids and friends in the neighborhood But when I crank that diesel, a switch flips inside    Like Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde, into the night I ride I hit the same old roadside diners down the interstate Truck stop hookers hangin' out lookin’ for a date Finish up my dinner, coffee black to go Wash my hands and look up at a man I hardly know The miles keep rolling through my mind And the years are leaving me behind I drink the wine to ease the shame, cocaine to get me by How long can I keep going on living this double life? There's trouble ahead on the highway, living this double life
3.
Addiction 03:01
(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI) Past the point of turning back Shades of blue fade to black Once was all fun and games  Now a war, and I know your name: Addiction, addiction Blind conviction To a lesser god Addiction, addiction You want me down Six feet beneath the ground Consumed by need to fill the void           
 Searching streets I should avoid 
 To satisfy this lust inside 
I gladly take the devil’s ride Addiction, addiction Blind conviction To a lesser god Addiction, addiction You want me down Six feet beneath the ground There's comfort in the dark of night  Excitement in the chase Morning on the bathroom floor I swear to God, I’ll change my ways But then it all begins again Your siren song draws me in 
Before too long I take that sip Fall back in your icy grip Addiction, addiction Blind conviction To a lesser god Addiction, addiction You want me down Six feet beneath the ground
4.
War 03:01
(Written by Jackson Corbett Dillon, ©2021) Don't leave me alone It's all I've ever been Searching outside For what I cannot find within I make the same mistakes Grasping for control Maybe this shame Is all I'll ever know I’m stuck in the dark And I cannot find the lights Been here for a while now Don't feel like the fight You tell me there's so much more Than this war I wage on myself Something worth living for Maybe something Or somebody else… something else I'm so tired Of lying to myself I can't deny it The hand that I've been dealt What if I put it all down And I never use again I cannot do it now Just like I could not do it then You tell me there's so much more Than this war I wage on myself Something worth living for Maybe something, or somebody else Something more than this war
5.
White Flag 04:28
(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI) Arrested in the dark of night Plain clothes police said walk the line Searched my car and they did find A bag of coke, and a bottle of wine My offense made the evening news I had everything to lose No one but me to take the blame I've brought shame to the family name I give up, my white flag flies I give up, no more lies Help me please, I’ve gone so low And I have nowhere left to go I found myself in Mama's room Crying out this painful tune A full grown man brought to his knees By a powerful disease I give up, my white flag flies I give up, no more lies Help me please, I’ve gone so low And I have nowhere left to go If there is a God, I need you now On my own I don't know how Please Lord, please, make me wel Take me out of this living hell I give up, my white flag flies I give up, no more lies Help me please, I’ve gone so low And I have nowhere left to go Help me please, I’ve gone so low And I have nowhere left to go
6.
(Written by John Hiatt, © Universal Music BMI) Is this a place I can rest my poor head To gather my thoughts in sweet silence? Is this a place where the feelings aren't dead From an overexposure to violence? And is this a place I can slowly face The only one I truly can know? These are tears from a long time ago, I've got these tears from a long time ago And I need to cry thirty years or so These are tears from a long time ago Oh darling, oh darling, you say unto me Oh where have you been all my lifetime? Well, I have been swimming the seven sad seas Fair women have thrown me their lifelines And I pulled them in to the water's dark grin I'd have warned 'em but I didn't know These are tears from a long time ago, I've got these tears from a long time ago And I need to cry thirty years or so These are tears from a long time ago Well, I've cried me a river, I've cried me a lake I've cried till the past nearly drowned me Tears for sad consequence , tears for mistakes But never these tears that surround me Alone in this place with a lifetime to trace And a heartbeat that tells me it's so These are tears from a long time ago, I've got these tears from a long time ago And I need to cry thirty years or so These are tears from a long time ago, a long time ago
7.
(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI) I finally surrendered and confessed My addiction brought me to my knees When I truly admitted my life was a mess The help I needed was there for me A friend said I could stop the runaway train Been where I’d been, found a way To face the fear, ease the pain Live a good life day to day The help I needed was there for me I just had to ask, had to be Honest about my faults and mistakes Open to a new way of life Willing to do whatever it takes The help I needed was there for me We met for coffee at the Daily Grind Down an old church basement stair Room full of folks, all different kinds Scent of coffee filled the air Listened to stories of where they’d been Did what they said, kept coming back Made the coffee and a few friends Soon my life was getting back on track The help I needed was there for me I just had to ask, had to be Honest about my faults and mistakes Open to a new way of life Willing to do whatever it takes The help I needed was there for me Dug in deep to clear my past Shared my secrets with a trusted friend Prayed my faults be removed at last To those I’d hurt, I made amends Feeling much better, the fog had cleared A whole lot less pain and strife Shame and fear had disappeared A spirit force was working in my life Days of joy, days of sorrow A bumpy road, but I’ll be fine Don’t think about tomorrow Take it one day at a time The help I need is there for me I just have to ask, and have to be Honest about my faults and mistakes Open to a new way of life Willing to do whatever it takes The help I need is there for me The help I need is there for me
8.
(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI) Made the coffee and opened the doors Some days I stayed and I swept the floors  Shared my story whenever I could Speaking my truth felt real good  I met an old friend, he was down and out He was so full of fear and self-doubt He reached out for help his eyes filled with tears I shared with him how I faced the same fears My life got better as I learned to serve Took me out of my self and into the world I knew my suffering was not in vain If I could help relieve a fellow traveler’s pain I told my friend how I got my life back How I no longer needed that six-pack How I did it all one day at a time That good folks were there with a lifeline I took him down those church basement stairs I got him to help me set up the chairs Told him to listen and try to relate To the stories of struggle and newfound faith  My life got better as I learned to serve Took me out of my self and into the world I knew my suffering was not in vain If I could help relieve a fellow traveler’s pain Now I’m singing this song for you today  Maybe something in you will resonate With the words and melodies that I wrote I share my experience, strength and hope  My life gets better as I learn to serve Takes me out of my self and into the world I know my suffering was not in vain If I can help relieve a fellow traveler’s pain If I can help relieve a fellow traveler’s pain
9.
(Written by John Dillon, ©1999 MotherDitch Music BMI) The first born daughter of a fisherman’s wife Pisces ruled the sky She’d walk on the beaches, sail on the bay Watch the seagulls fly Heard them seagulls cry no riff Solomon’s Isle on the Chesapeake Bay Twenty years ago I fell in love and I married that girl And soon she began to show And her heart began to glow A baby girl and couple of boys We raised them three kids well Taught ‘em how to fiddle and sail Raise a glass and ring the bell Raise a glass and ring the bell But the whiskey grabbed a hold of me And took me on a hurricane ride Wound up lyin’ in the devil’s bed And I thought my soul had died Nothing left inside You can’t navigate without a guiding star And my ship’s gone adrift I could not see ’til the fog did lift That I’d lost my greatest gift Oh, I’d lost my greatest gift Lord, I was blind to what I had And I let it slip away Now I’m seven years sober and I can’t go back To the life on the Chesapeake Bay Seven years sober and I’ll not go back To the life on the Chesapeake Bay
10.
BYOG 03:33
(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI) Grew up with church and Sunday school  Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule Pastor preached of heaven and hell This teenage kid did rebel Began to search, lots of books I read About the Buddha, the Book of the Dead American Indians, the Sacred Earth Don Juan and the peyote church Found a commune, lived on the land Things went sideways, got out of hand I said ‘screw you’ and went on a binge Years of using, and I’d come unhinged In the depths of my darkest days If there was a God, he was far away I’d worshiped at the altar of the local bar My body was weak, my soul was scarred They said: Bring your own God, bring your own God Turn it over to a higher power Takes a lot of work, it's an inside job Gotta dig deep within, and bring your own God Bring your own God I learned how to pray and meditate To think about God and contemplate Doesn't have to be an old man, with a beard Or a vengeful God to be feared  If you don't have your own god to bring You can use the group for what you need Good Orderly Direction - G. O. D. Or Good Old Darwin might hold the key Bring your own God, bring your own God Turn it over to a higher power Takes a lot of work, it's an inside job Gotta dig deep within, and bring your own God Bring your own God No matter your religion or your spirit view There's a way to get better that’ll work for you A God of your understanding Will get you through Bring your own God, bring your own God Turn it over to a higher power Takes a lot of work, it's an inside job Gotta dig deep within, and bring your own God It’s kinda like a church where you bring your own God
11.
Gratitude 03:30
(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI) Glowing embers soothe my soul Calm within the storm I’m thankful for this life I love The hearth-fire keeps me warm I close my eyes and go inside Troubles fall away It’s here I know that life is good  No matter what you say You say our world is dying now Storms and fires brew  Mother Earth is crying out Her rescue overdue Our country has a broken heart I hope it's not too late  It's up to us to do our part Spread love instead of hate So, I go within, I calm my mind          Connect with Higher Source Become the peace I want to find That's how I change the course Gratitude is what I feel It brightens up my day      Gratitude, it helps me heal And takes my blues away Walking on a North Woods trail Far from human hands It’s where all life makes perfect sense  Reflects a higher plan Mother Nature comforts me When I'm feeling strange It all comes down to thankfulness The sunshine that sustains I go within, I calm my mind          Connect with Higher Source Become the peace I want to find That's how I change the course Gratitude is what I feel It brightens up my day      Gratitude, it helps me heal And takes my blues away Gratitude, it keeps me warm, calm within the storm
12.
Hope Road 03:25
(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI) On Hope Road I’m not alone Twelve roadsigns guide me home       Left behind the booze and dope Glad I found this Road of Hope Amazed before I was halfway through New freedom came to stay Happiness, long overdue A smile most everyday No matter how the die was cast, Or how low the floor No more do I regret the past Or wish to close the door On Hope Road we’re not alone Twelve roadsigns guide us home       Left behind the booze and dope Glad we trudge this Road of Hope I comprehend serenity Know an inner peace Self-centered insecurity Finally been released Lose my selfish tendencies Improve relationships Turn over my dependencies Embrace the fellowship On Hope Road we’re not alone Twelve roadsigns guide us home       Left behind the booze and dope Glad we trudge this Road of Hope The more I read the Book And let go of the reins My attitude and outlook Upon this life does change Fear of folks and finance Almost always gone
 Grateful for a second chance I welcome a new dawn On Hope Road we’re not alone Twelve roadsigns guide us home       Left behind the booze and dope Glad we trudge this Road of Hope Intuition moves us In the here-and-now Things that once confused us Make sense to us somehow We hear a joyful chorus A melody once unknown God is doing for us What we could not do alone Yes, God is doing for us what we could not do alone

about

John Dillon tells his story of addiction and recovery through these 12 compelling songs. An accomplished singer-songwriter, guitarist, producer, John began his journey of recovery in 1992 at an addiction treatment center in Northeastern PA. He has maintained his sobriety through gratitude and service.

PAY WHAT YOU WISH - Whatever you chose to pay will help cover costs and get the recovery message to more people in need.

HOPE ROAD is both a recorded album and a live performance. More info at HopeRoadMusic.com

credits

released May 13, 2022

Produced, recorded and edited by John Dillon; Mixed by John Dillon, assisted by Chuck Vosganian; Mastered by James Tuttle; Cover painting: “Day Break” by Alice Webb (alicewebbart.com).

John Dillon: vocals, acoustic & electric 6 & 12 string guitars, bass, drum programming; Mark Tomeo: pedal steel guitar, dobro; Tom Naunas: Organ; Steve Adams: piano; Taylor Whiteside: fiddle; Don Richmond: accordion, mandolin, low whistle, fiddle, Weissenborn slide guitar, backing vocals; Catherine Reid: piano, backing vocals; Joe Jencks: acoustic & electric bouzouki, backing vocals; Vivian Nesbitt: backing vocals; Tekla Waterfield: backing vocals

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John Dillon Melrose, New York

JOHN DILLON is an accomplished singer-songwriter, guitar-maker, author, and producer who began his recovery journey in 1992. John is recognized for his work as producer of the public radio show Art of the Song. His book The 20-20 Creativity Solution gives readers a step-by-step process to enhance their creativity. In 2022, he released his fourth studio album HOPE ROAD - from Addiction to Recovery. ... more

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