1. |
Sacramento to Cheyenne
03:35
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(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI)
We left Sacramento on a midnight freight
Dusty and dirty, too damned straight
Get to Wyoming, we’ve had enough
Train slows down and we jump right off
Sacramento to Cheyenne, living day to day, without a plan
A hippie van full of friendly folks
Come on with us and have a little toke
Take us home to their humble abode
We tell 'em stories of livin’ on the road
Sacramento to Cheyenne, living day to day, without a plan
Living the counter-culture hippie dream
Thank you for providing the hospitality
Songs and stories, camaraderie
For a place to sleep and a meal to eat
Sacramento to Cheyenne, living day to day, without a plan
Every day an adventure, traveling free
Long hair in the wind, oh so hip
Love to explore psychedelic realms
Far out, man… what a trip!
Never overstay our welcome, always polite
Time to move on, we be outta sight
Packs on our backs, we stick out our thumbs
A brand new adventure, here we come
Sacramento to Cheyenne, living day to day, without a plan
Was it coincidence for that hippie van
To be right there when we got to Cheyenne?
These incidents of happy chance
Felt like we were part of some cosmic dance
Sacramento to Cheyenne, living day to day, without a plan
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2. |
The Double Life
04:16
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(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI)
I’ve traveled down this two-lane road far too many miles
No matter how I try, can’t seem to find a smile
I wake up in the morning, pour a cup of brew
Splash some water in the face of a man I thought I knew
The miles keep rolling through my mind
And the years are leaving me behind
I drink the wine to ease the pain, cocaine to get me by
How long can I keep going on living this double life?
I drive this beat-up Peterbilt two thousand miles each week
The turnpikes and the torn-up roads take their toll on me
One more cup of coffee, roll a cigarette
Feel like I’m staring in the mirror at a man I never met
The miles keep rolling through my mind
And the years are leaving me behind
I drink the wine to ease the pain, cocaine to get me by
How long can I keep going on living this double life?
When I'm home with family, you'd think my life was good
Grilling with the wife and kids and friends in the neighborhood
But when I crank that diesel, a switch flips inside
Like Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde, into the night I ride
I hit the same old roadside diners down the interstate
Truck stop hookers hangin' out lookin’ for a date
Finish up my dinner, coffee black to go
Wash my hands and look up at a man I hardly know
The miles keep rolling through my mind
And the years are leaving me behind
I drink the wine to ease the shame, cocaine to get me by
How long can I keep going on living this double life?
There's trouble ahead on the highway, living this double life
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3. |
Addiction
03:01
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(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI)
Past the point of turning back
Shades of blue fade to black
Once was all fun and games
Now a war, and I know your name:
Addiction, addiction
Blind conviction
To a lesser god
Addiction, addiction
You want me down
Six feet beneath the ground
Consumed by need to fill the void
Searching streets I should avoid
To satisfy this lust inside
I gladly take the devil’s ride
Addiction, addiction
Blind conviction
To a lesser god
Addiction, addiction
You want me down
Six feet beneath the ground
There's comfort in the dark of night
Excitement in the chase
Morning on the bathroom floor
I swear to God, I’ll change my ways
But then it all begins again
Your siren song draws me in
Before too long I take that sip
Fall back in your icy grip
Addiction, addiction
Blind conviction
To a lesser god
Addiction, addiction
You want me down
Six feet beneath the ground
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4. |
War
03:01
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(Written by Jackson Corbett Dillon, ©2021)
Don't leave me alone
It's all I've ever been
Searching outside
For what I cannot find within
I make the same mistakes
Grasping for control
Maybe this shame
Is all I'll ever know
I’m stuck in the dark
And I cannot find the lights
Been here for a while now
Don't feel like the fight
You tell me there's so much more
Than this war I wage on myself
Something worth living for
Maybe something
Or somebody else… something else
I'm so tired
Of lying to myself
I can't deny it
The hand that I've been dealt
What if I put it all down
And I never use again
I cannot do it now
Just like I could not do it then
You tell me there's so much more
Than this war I wage on myself
Something worth living for
Maybe something, or somebody else
Something more than this war
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5. |
White Flag
04:28
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(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI)
Arrested in the dark of night
Plain clothes police said walk the line
Searched my car and they did find
A bag of coke, and a bottle of wine
My offense made the evening news
I had everything to lose
No one but me to take the blame
I've brought shame to the family name
I give up, my white flag flies
I give up, no more lies
Help me please, I’ve gone so low
And I have nowhere left to go
I found myself in Mama's room
Crying out this painful tune
A full grown man brought to his knees
By a powerful disease
I give up, my white flag flies
I give up, no more lies
Help me please, I’ve gone so low
And I have nowhere left to go
If there is a God, I need you now
On my own I don't know how
Please Lord, please, make me wel
Take me out of this living hell
I give up, my white flag flies
I give up, no more lies
Help me please, I’ve gone so low
And I have nowhere left to go
Help me please, I’ve gone so low
And I have nowhere left to go
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6. |
Thirty Years of Tears
03:45
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(Written by John Hiatt, © Universal Music BMI)
Is this a place I can rest my poor head
To gather my thoughts in sweet silence?
Is this a place where the feelings aren't dead
From an overexposure to violence?
And is this a place I can slowly face
The only one I truly can know?
These are tears from a long time ago,
I've got these tears from a long time ago
And I need to cry thirty years or so
These are tears from a long time ago
Oh darling, oh darling, you say unto me
Oh where have you been all my lifetime?
Well, I have been swimming the seven sad seas
Fair women have thrown me their lifelines
And I pulled them in to the water's dark grin
I'd have warned 'em but I didn't know
These are tears from a long time ago,
I've got these tears from a long time ago
And I need to cry thirty years or so
These are tears from a long time ago
Well, I've cried me a river, I've cried me a lake
I've cried till the past nearly drowned me
Tears for sad consequence , tears for mistakes
But never these tears that surround me
Alone in this place with a lifetime to trace
And a heartbeat that tells me it's so
These are tears from a long time ago,
I've got these tears from a long time ago
And I need to cry thirty years or so
These are tears from a long time ago, a long time ago
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7. |
The Help I Need
04:26
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(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI)
I finally surrendered and confessed
My addiction brought me to my knees
When I truly admitted my life was a mess
The help I needed was there for me
A friend said I could stop the runaway train
Been where I’d been, found a way
To face the fear, ease the pain
Live a good life day to day
The help I needed was there for me
I just had to ask, had to be
Honest about my faults and mistakes
Open to a new way of life
Willing to do whatever it takes
The help I needed was there for me
We met for coffee at the Daily Grind
Down an old church basement stair
Room full of folks, all different kinds
Scent of coffee filled the air
Listened to stories of where they’d been
Did what they said, kept coming back
Made the coffee and a few friends
Soon my life was getting back on track
The help I needed was there for me
I just had to ask, had to be
Honest about my faults and mistakes
Open to a new way of life
Willing to do whatever it takes
The help I needed was there for me
Dug in deep to clear my past
Shared my secrets with a trusted friend
Prayed my faults be removed at last
To those I’d hurt, I made amends
Feeling much better, the fog had cleared
A whole lot less pain and strife
Shame and fear had disappeared
A spirit force was working in my life
Days of joy, days of sorrow
A bumpy road, but I’ll be fine
Don’t think about tomorrow
Take it one day at a time
The help I need is there for me
I just have to ask, and have to be
Honest about my faults and mistakes
Open to a new way of life
Willing to do whatever it takes
The help I need is there for me
The help I need is there for me
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8. |
Learn to Serve
03:14
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(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI)
Made the coffee and opened the doors
Some days I stayed and I swept the floors
Shared my story whenever I could
Speaking my truth felt real good
I met an old friend, he was down and out
He was so full of fear and self-doubt
He reached out for help his eyes filled with tears
I shared with him how I faced the same fears
My life got better as I learned to serve
Took me out of my self and into the world
I knew my suffering was not in vain
If I could help relieve a fellow traveler’s pain
I told my friend how I got my life back
How I no longer needed that six-pack
How I did it all one day at a time
That good folks were there with a lifeline
I took him down those church basement stairs
I got him to help me set up the chairs
Told him to listen and try to relate
To the stories of struggle and newfound faith
My life got better as I learned to serve
Took me out of my self and into the world
I knew my suffering was not in vain
If I could help relieve a fellow traveler’s pain
Now I’m singing this song for you today
Maybe something in you will resonate
With the words and melodies that I wrote
I share my experience, strength and hope
My life gets better as I learn to serve
Takes me out of my self and into the world
I know my suffering was not in vain
If I can help relieve a fellow traveler’s pain
If I can help relieve a fellow traveler’s pain
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9. |
Chesapeake Bay
03:22
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(Written by John Dillon, ©1999 MotherDitch Music BMI)
The first born daughter of a fisherman’s wife
Pisces ruled the sky
She’d walk on the beaches, sail on the bay
Watch the seagulls fly
Heard them seagulls cry no riff
Solomon’s Isle on the Chesapeake Bay
Twenty years ago
I fell in love and I married that girl
And soon she began to show
And her heart began to glow
A baby girl and couple of boys
We raised them three kids well
Taught ‘em how to fiddle and sail
Raise a glass and ring the bell
Raise a glass and ring the bell
But the whiskey grabbed a hold of me
And took me on a hurricane ride
Wound up lyin’ in the devil’s bed
And I thought my soul had died
Nothing left inside
You can’t navigate without a guiding star
And my ship’s gone adrift
I could not see ’til the fog did lift
That I’d lost my greatest gift
Oh, I’d lost my greatest gift
Lord, I was blind to what I had
And I let it slip away
Now I’m seven years sober and I can’t go back
To the life on the Chesapeake Bay
Seven years sober and I’ll not go back
To the life on the Chesapeake Bay
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10. |
BYOG
03:33
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(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI)
Grew up with church and Sunday school
Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule
Pastor preached of heaven and hell
This teenage kid did rebel
Began to search, lots of books I read
About the Buddha, the Book of the Dead
American Indians, the Sacred Earth
Don Juan and the peyote church
Found a commune, lived on the land
Things went sideways, got out of hand
I said ‘screw you’ and went on a binge
Years of using, and I’d come unhinged
In the depths of my darkest days
If there was a God, he was far away
I’d worshiped at the altar of the local bar
My body was weak, my soul was scarred
They said: Bring your own God, bring your own God
Turn it over to a higher power
Takes a lot of work, it's an inside job
Gotta dig deep within, and bring your own God
Bring your own God
I learned how to pray and meditate
To think about God and contemplate
Doesn't have to be an old man, with a beard
Or a vengeful God to be feared
If you don't have your own god to bring
You can use the group for what you need
Good Orderly Direction - G. O. D.
Or Good Old Darwin might hold the key
Bring your own God, bring your own God
Turn it over to a higher power
Takes a lot of work, it's an inside job
Gotta dig deep within, and bring your own God
Bring your own God
No matter your religion or your spirit view
There's a way to get better that’ll work for you
A God of your understanding
Will get you through
Bring your own God, bring your own God
Turn it over to a higher power
Takes a lot of work, it's an inside job
Gotta dig deep within, and bring your own God
It’s kinda like a church where you bring your own God
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11. |
Gratitude
03:30
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(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI)
Glowing embers soothe my soul
Calm within the storm
I’m thankful for this life I love
The hearth-fire keeps me warm
I close my eyes and go inside
Troubles fall away
It’s here I know that life is good
No matter what you say
You say our world is dying now
Storms and fires brew
Mother Earth is crying out
Her rescue overdue
Our country has a broken heart
I hope it's not too late
It's up to us to do our part
Spread love instead of hate
So, I go within, I calm my mind
Connect with Higher Source
Become the peace I want to find
That's how I change the course
Gratitude is what I feel
It brightens up my day
Gratitude, it helps me heal
And takes my blues away
Walking on a North Woods trail
Far from human hands
It’s where all life makes perfect sense
Reflects a higher plan
Mother Nature comforts me
When I'm feeling strange
It all comes down to thankfulness
The sunshine that sustains
I go within, I calm my mind
Connect with Higher Source
Become the peace I want to find
That's how I change the course
Gratitude is what I feel
It brightens up my day
Gratitude, it helps me heal
And takes my blues away
Gratitude, it keeps me warm, calm within the storm
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12. |
Hope Road
03:25
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(Written by John Dillon, ©2021 MotherDitch Music BMI)
On Hope Road I’m not alone
Twelve roadsigns guide me home
Left behind the booze and dope
Glad I found this Road of Hope
Amazed before I was halfway through
New freedom came to stay
Happiness, long overdue
A smile most everyday
No matter how the die was cast,
Or how low the floor
No more do I regret the past
Or wish to close the door
On Hope Road we’re not alone
Twelve roadsigns guide us home
Left behind the booze and dope
Glad we trudge this Road of Hope
I comprehend serenity
Know an inner peace
Self-centered insecurity
Finally been released
Lose my selfish tendencies
Improve relationships
Turn over my dependencies
Embrace the fellowship
On Hope Road we’re not alone
Twelve roadsigns guide us home
Left behind the booze and dope
Glad we trudge this Road of Hope
The more I read the Book
And let go of the reins
My attitude and outlook
Upon this life does change
Fear of folks and finance
Almost always gone
Grateful for a second chance
I welcome a new dawn
On Hope Road we’re not alone
Twelve roadsigns guide us home
Left behind the booze and dope
Glad we trudge this Road of Hope
Intuition moves us
In the here-and-now
Things that once confused us
Make sense to us somehow
We hear a joyful chorus
A melody once unknown
God is doing for us
What we could not do alone
Yes, God is doing for us what we could not do alone
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John Dillon Melrose, New York
JOHN DILLON is an accomplished singer-songwriter, guitar-maker, author, and producer who began his recovery journey in 1992. John is recognized for his work as producer of the public radio show Art of the Song. His book The 20-20 Creativity Solution gives readers a step-by-step process to enhance their creativity. In 2022, he released his fourth studio album HOPE ROAD - from Addiction to Recovery. ... more
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